Peanut as she grew older…
My mom had stayed close to dad, for the two months she had figured it would take for his mind, not miss her while she was gone. Mom then got the surgery booked. On the day she had to leave, she let dad know that she would be home in a few days. It was the very first time mom and dad had ever been apart.
Jasper and I had never expected that dad would even know mom was gone. We were both wrong. In a matter of hours dad was calling for mom. It is said, that just because a person does not seem to be there in the mind, they still can see and hear, and feel. They are inside there bodies, and do not want to be left alone. It’s scary for them to live inside a body that can’t communicate with anyone, and can’t even move on it’s own. Just remember there is someone inside that body who is still alive. This was the case for dad, and he was scared, and mom wasn’t there with him. Jasper and I took over the care of dad and sat at his bedside for all the time mom was away. He knew we were with him and that gave him the security he needed to wait for mom to return. We were there for him no matter what happened with mom and the operation she was getting ready for….. Mom was sleeping in a hospital bed, and I’m sure her mind was on dad and how he was doing without her. I seen her blow a kiss to the picture of dad, I had left with her. It amazed me at how great their connection was to each other. It was like they could read each others minds, and I’m sure sometimes they did just that. They had communicated verbally for so many years, and now they were limited to communicating beyond words. The kind of communications that only happened through touch and emotion. I prayed so hard for a longtime that dad would get better, but the mind reaper had plans of it’s own. It had chosen dad as it had chosen many before him. I still find myself over taken by tears as I remember my prayers.
The day of mom’s surgery had come and I was there to see her before she went into the operating room. Jasper had sent his love and about ninety kisses. We made sure that dad was good and we were with him all the time. We would never leave him alone for anymore time then a trip to the bathroom. Mom was very happy that dad was in good hands. I held mom’s hand and kissed her with all of Jasper’s kisses and a few of my own thrown in there. I walked beside her stretcher as they walked her to the operating room. I followed her till the doors closed and I peered through the window in the door. I felt like a little kid as I stood on my tip toes at that window. I loved my mom and I was totally nervous about this operation. If this did not go well my mom would no longer be able to walk. She would spend the rest of her life in a wheel chair. I paced back and forth in the hallway, and barely sat down for the four hours the operation took. My legs hurt, and I let Jasper know that I was okay. I asked many times how dad was, and Jasper answered the same way each time. I prayed that mom would be okay, and that the doctor’s hands would work miracles, and make my mother well.
Time seem to be moving at a crawl, my legs were tired as I sat in a chair, in an empty waiting room. The room was silent, and it was not long before I drifted off into a peaceful sleep. I had a dream that mom, dad, Jasper, and myself were on a sandy beach watching the waves crash against the shore. All of us were laughing and having a wonderful time. Dad was not sick and mom had come through the operation with flying colors. Jasper was happy, and I was six months pregnant with our first child. Life was so perfect in my dreams. I was having a baby. ‘Oh my god’. We all had the brightest future ahead. I watched as we all held hands and walked along the beach, as the waves washed over our feet. There were people talking and laughing as we walked by. I wanted to leave my real life behind and live happily in my dream. Reality was about to blow my dream to pieces as a nurse tapped me on the shoulder. I was startled. I could feel all the muscles in my body tense up tight. I was ready to take on who ever had crushed my dream. I opened my eyes. There in front of me was a very tiny nurse with big black rimmed glasses that were slipping down her nose. I shook my head slightly, and gave myself a pinch on the leg, to see if I was really awake. She was dressed in green scrubs with a green cap in her head. Her voice was deep like a man’s voice, that alone through me for a loop. She asked my name and I told her I was Peanut, and how was my mom. She spoke, telling me that the operation was going to be longer than anticipated, and I should go get something to eat. “Is my mom okay?” I asked, as I stood towering above her. She looked up at me and assured me that all was well, and not to worry.
Nurse in scrubs…….
Once the nurse had assured me all was well, I headed for the hospital food court. I bought a coffee, and a sandwich form Tim Horton’s, and sat at a table and ate. I watched the nurses and doctors as they gulped down their beverages, and wolf down their food. I watch one fella that looked like a doctor, as he never looked up. He shoveled his food into his mouth. I wondered if he even swallowed or was he hiding his food in a pouch like a squirrel would eat it’s food. Once I was finished eating I made my way up to the waiting room. I sat, waiting for some word from the doctors. There were a few people in the waiting room, and the television was now on. I starred at the television with a blank look on my face. To this day I can’t remember what was playing on that television. The day was slipping away, and still I had heard nothing. I made my way to the nurses station and asked about my mom. The nurse made a couple calls and found out that mom was going to be out soon and the doctor would be out to see me in a matter of minutes. I politely said ‘thank you’ and went back to sit down. I could hear my name being called and I stood and followed the nurse to a small room. “The doctor will be with you in a moment.” She said, and left. I looked around room, tapped my feet, and waited. There was a tap at the door, and the doctor stepped in. Hello, he said as he explained what had taken so long, and what mom’s prognosis was. The tumor had wrapped its self around the spinal cord. He said. “I was unable to clear away the tumor.” I looked at him in shock. “What do you mean.. Is she paralyzed.” I blurted out. We will not know till she wakes up and we can check to see if she has lost the use of her legs. She is in recovery, and you can see her soon. I will see you again when we check her out. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and I didn’t know quite what to do or say. I sat in the room for what felt like an hour. The nurse said I was able to see my mom, and she led me to her bed side. The tubes were coming out of what seemed like everywhere. The sight made me panic a bit. Mom opened one eye and squeezed my hand. She looked so small and frail laying in that bed. I just wanted to hug her, but that was impossible at this time. They would be taking mom to an intensive care room and there she would stay for the next few days. The doctor popped into check mom out. He asked her to wiggle her toes, but there was nothing. He his pen along the bottom of her foot, then he pinch her legs up to the thigh, to see if she could feel it, but there was nothing. He turned to me and looked very sad. He asked me to come away from the bed. As I followed him, he said she is paralyzed, and it seem to be from the waist down. I will keep on checking on her a couple times a day to see if anything changes. I was so sad, but I held back the tears so mom would not notice. Once mom got to her room I was only allowed a short visit, and then I had to leave and let her rest. I kissed her gently, and squeezed her hand, before I waved good bye to her for the night.
Under good care….
The drive home felt long but I was there before I knew it. Jasper was with dad, and I told them mom was out of surgery, and would be home in a few days. I told Jasper that it looked like mom was paralyzed from the waist down, and would be in a wheel chair from now on. He was sad, and felt sorry for mom. Each day Jasper and I took turns seeing mom at the hospital. As each day passed mom began to realize she was paralyzed. She took it with stride, and never let us see her tears. Dad was happy when we told him she would be home. The day mom came home she was brought home in a handicap van. She was all smiles, and happy to be with dad again. Life at first had been a little different, but in time mom was motoring around their flat cooking and taking care of dad. Mom would even race Jasper as he pushed dad in his wheel chair. It was as funny as can be.
Jasper and I did get married in the back yard of the house with family there. We did have two children, both boys, and mom and dad got to be grand-parents. We were very proud of our boys as they would help nanna and papa as much as they could. Mom eventually slowed down and needed to be pushed around in a wheelchair. Dad had passed away two weeks before mom. We think she died of a broken heart, after he was gone. She would cry and talk to him as if he were beside her. Maybe he was waiting for her to join him in heaven. It broke our hearts to see her missing him. Her pain ended at home in their bed, on a rainy afternoon. I could almost see the two of them walking together into the light. I was at piece when I saw them leaving. This house is much quieter now. The boys have grown and have families of their own. Jasper and I are grand-parents now, I know now how mom felt with her grand-children. I tell them stories of the gram, and gramps, and how wonderful they were.
My hair is grey now, and I walk with a limp. My bones hurt when it’s cold, and I can always tell when it’s going to rain. Jasper is by my side as he has always been. His hair is grey, his spirit is still there and shows as he tries to catch me. But, he uses a walker, and has slowed down quite a bit. We find pleasure in just watching the flowers grow in our gardens. The house is silent most of the time. Even to this day, I can hear the laughter of mom and dad coming from their flat. One day soon we will join them and other family members in heaven. See you there….. 🙂
Thanks to everyone who has followed my story. I hope you have enjoyed the journey of life…
Hello everyone: Friday is here, and another weekend is just around the corner. I wish all of you a great Friday, and a super weekend when you get there. I will see everyone again come Monday with the start of another story. See you then… Take care of those you love.. and be safe out there on the roads… Till Monday…Have a good weekend… 🙂
I would like to thank all my followers, readers, and visitors for being here to read my stories… 🙂 I would like also to thank the many talented photographers for with out your pictures my blog would be boring… :):)
MAGS. Thanks for being around… 🙂